wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
