that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
