yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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