it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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