Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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