There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
