So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
