yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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