The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
