...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
