I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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