Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
