you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
