Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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