Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
