Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
A+ Viking dick
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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