great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we made out on top of his cat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
your like the ambassador to my penis.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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