when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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