My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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