i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
