there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
