DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize