she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
