The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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