That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
