i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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