Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
