I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
