Whoa Z and x make the same sound
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
