Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
