Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
