I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
