is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night