I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever