Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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