grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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