So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
