My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
