South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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