She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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