i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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