i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
