WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
