Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Randomize
