thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
