i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
