I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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