We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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