you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no, he came in my armpit
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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