is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
