? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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