I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
