Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Michael Bay diarrhea
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize