yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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